He was never really there

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Once upon a time, there was a girl who used to make drawings and decorated prayers to her parish priest. She wanted to be a nun because God was so nice to her that she felt that helping him would repay God for his kindness. As the girl grew up a series of events led her to lose her way from religion. She still prayed every morning and night, but she was confused about why God was letting people hurt her. Then one day, a day the little girl will never forget, the girl found solace in God as she used to, her belief was renewed and she was happy again. Sadly, probably only minutes after her own prayer to God, thanking him and rejoicing in his name, unbeknownst to the girl; her best friend was killed by a drunken lorry driver on her way home from school. And the little girl knew then that she was alone in this world, that God never existed.

That girl was me.

I, who spent my childhood looking up to God only to be crushed when “returning to his bosom” realized that God does not exist today, God did not exist yesterday, and God will not exist tomorrow. There is no God.

Why people spend their lives worshipping someone they cannot even see if beyond me.I am not ignorant. I know about miracles, I’ve had all the proof of god’s existence shoved down my throat since birth, but here I am, writing this article to announce my atheism and state my reasons for it.

We as human beings can take control of our own destinies. God is said to be omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent but at the same time, he is known as a jealous God. Slight contradiction? If God was omniscient, why does he not stop earthquakes and flooding? If God was omnipotent, why is he allowing wars to break out and violence to prevail? If God was benevolent, why are little children being starved, beaten and raped?

This is why- Because there is no God, no being, and no force that can stop these things.

God is a source of comfort to the weak. We alone control our destinies. We alone can stop these things by stopping global warming and being better people.

If God existed, and he was our creator, then he is the blame for those people who steal, rape, murder and cause pain for others. This in itself contradicts the Catholic Church’s belief that God is omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent.

I went back to God after all the bullying, all the sleepless nights and all the pain and in return, I lost the one person who stood by me through all the crude remarks and the lies. God didn’t stand by me; she did.and she’s not here.

Losing her made me realize that I lost him. I lost him because he was never really there.

 

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