In an article entitled “The Happiness Quotient: Achieving Peace of Mind” author Justis Chase advises that “The truth is that it’s not the outside events but rather what we do with those outside events in our minds that cause us to be happy or unhappy.” There are so many happenings that stir up emotions, and several can be going on simultaneously. The bottom line is that the choice is just that, a choice. One can choose to allow themselves to be happy, or they may elect to wallow in sadness.
For example, take a situation in which a family member chooses to cut you off from their immediate family. You may have no clue as to why this action has been taken. Even though you ask for an explanation, none is given. Besides feeling hurt, angry, disappointed, and perturbed, it is embarrassing to face others who know that family members won’t come to events at which you will be in attendance. Where does one find peace of mind? Certainly, there is none at this point.
Isn’t it a natural tendency to allow these feelings to fester and eat you up inside? That serves no constructive purpose. Instead, as Hisnam Ahkel suggests, “Detach yourself from the situation and assume yourself as an observing personality of the problem.” Step back to take a more objective view of the situation. If you’ve inquired as to what caused the cut-off and received no response, there is little else you can do. Respect that family member’s wishes and move on with your life.
Certainly, you can speak with other family members, but they are either going to take sides or they are going to say what they know you want to hear. They don’t want to get entangled in the situation. Simply allow time to take its course.
To achieve peace of mind, you may wish to send a voice message, text or letter to the family member who has severed ties. Refrain from making any negative comments or references. Instead, the message should be one of wishing things could be different but forgiving them for the damage being caused for all family members and friends concerned. After having forgiven them, release negative feelings that have built up inside you, and let them go once and for all.
The workplace can be another area of discontent.
Differences in personalities, upbringing, education, and families of origin, no two employees think or work with identical goals, approaches or means of communication. Therefore, conflicts arise.
An article entitled “Workplace Conflict: Steps to Resolve Discord” suggests that “situations can be resolved if those involved become aware of what their own hot buttons are, and the effect their reaction has on the other person.” Certainly, it is up to the supervisor or boss to work with employees to discover their own and others’ “hot buttons,” as well as how to avoid pushing them.
Nobody works well with conflict
It’s important for employees to recognize that nobody works well with conflict. Nobody enjoys discord or misunderstandings. Once the air has been cleared, with all involved having a more clear understanding of not only what caused problems, but also how best to prevent them in the future, employers will reap the benefits of teamwork.
Feel the weight lifted from your being. Get on with life. Don’t fear accidental contact with them, for you did nothing deliberate to cause you to avoid having any connection with them. Pray for them, asking God to dissolve whatever issue has a grip on them. Experience freedom of spirit. Enjoy the positive energy and peace of mind.
