In my search of the world’s religions, many failed to convince me of their beliefs, because I was seeking answers. Why do young people die? Why did my husband die at the age of 31? What happens if you marry again? How does that work with heaven?
I questioned many beliefs. I talked with vicars in the Church of England and was not convinced by the answers that I was given. Looking at the Church of England as a whole, it always concerned me that the Church of England was founded as a breakaway church from Catholicism in order to allow a British King to get a divorce. It didn’t sit right with me, and although I was brought up in the Church of England, I found myself getting nearer to God, whilst distancing myself from the Church that I had known all my life.
Moving to another country that is primarily Catholic, I was able to see the Catholic explanations for my questions more clearly, and again, the answers I received were vague and unconvincing. I would often spend hours with the village nuns, talking about aspects of belief that worried me, and their all-out acceptance of God without questioning seemed strange to someone like me that needed logic and answers in order to understand my life and to move forward with it.
Turning to Buddhism
Turning to Buddhism, I learned so many things about spirituality and the manner in which people should live their lives. I learned about equality, and how every creature on God’s earth counted for something, even the fly that you swat has a life that should be respected.
Moving on to death, and learning the logical sequence, what I learned about Buddhism taught me a lot of lessons about self-examination, learning acceptance of who I was, but also understanding how fleeting life is. There were no more questions left once I had examined studies about the basis of Buddhism, and although I do not claim to be a Buddhist, I can understand much of the simplicity that surrounds the complexity of their religion.
Karma was something I really could relate to, believing that for every action in your life, there is a consequence, and time and time again, I see this in my daily life. The Karma aspect also made sense of life after death and putting karma together with reincarnation worked for me. I am not saying that what I believe is right, as I would never be that vain about my own abilities, though what I am saying is that by gazing deeper into religious aspects of the Buddhist religion, I was able to see life more clearly.
Buddhism explained the death of children and explained the death of my husband better than any other religion ever had done, coupled with my own near-death experiences, making be absolutely sure that when you die, you move on to another life that you earn in the last one. The death of the child, or the death of the husband I loved were not wasted lives, and in fact it comforted me to know that they move forward because those that I loved and lost were worthy human beings, and I know that whatever life they live now will be good ones, because of their actions in the last life.
Buddhism opened my eyes to possibilities that other religions failed to present to a very unhappy person who sought answers. Behind all the complication of religion was a simplicity that I was able to grasp, hold in both hands and embrace, and it helped me to move forward as a better person, my belief in God intact, and my hope for life everlasting reinforced so strongly that I have no room anymore in my life for fear.
There lies the truth.